Thinking

I have just realized that it has been awhile since I looked at the leaves. I like to keep abreast of what state they are in, study their edges to see if they are starting to brown and curl. The last couple of days I've been distracted by the chill - a serious winter chill - that has blown in with the rain. It's like even though I haven't looked to be sure, in my mind the leaves are already gone. The cold has told me so.

I have also realized that I will not have enough time to vote in the Canadian election. I would have to mail off my application for absentee ballot, along with proof of my Canadian identity and address. Then they would have to mail me my ballot and I would have to mail it back, all before the 14th. This just isn't going to happen. I feel a bit disappointed that I will miss out. Not that I have ever taken a huge interest in politics, but lately...I don't know. Perhaps I am a little homesick, or perhaps I am feeling restless in Britain because of all the credit crunch scares and here I have no access to making my own way in the world. I am dependent on all things urban, which makes me feel somehow vulnerable. It doesn't help that I listen to the Vinyl Cafe a lot, which makes me feel wistful for all things Canadian. Damn that Stuart McLean. John has also bought me a copy of Men With Brooms. Sigh.

Perhaps I am just filled with uncertainty because of my physical state. I have started a process of doctor's visits and blood tests to try and see why my cycle is such a mess, and whether I have cysts on my ovaries. The thought of not having a period for more than four months may fill some women with glee, but it makes me terribly sad because it feels like my body is moving in an incomplete rhythm, forever suspended over the downbeat. It fills me with a void, like I am somehow not whole. My cycle finally arrived yesterday and today I've never been so thrilled to be in discomfort and pain.

But despite my current feelings of unease, I am still happily stuck in here, dedicated to getting as much out of my work experience as I can. The more I can do with my current opportunities the more doors will open in the future. The good news is that the two people at work who I have asked to listen to my pod cast sample were very positive and enthusiastic. This makes me more confident to bring it to upper management, which is my next step. If I get this thing then you all have to subscribe. All five of you. I know you may not like military music but I promise to make subtle references to cheesecake if it will make you happy.

More importantly, with regard to restlessness and homesickness, I simply will not go anywhere without John. He's my everywhere map to adventure, and I would just feel too lost without him.

I have much to look forward to over the next few weeks. Craig arrived yesterday from Norway and already the food plans are piling up. Farmer's Market, various cafes, sushi, and Canadian Thanksgiving (so far the only thing I have planned is a kind of stuffing concoction that is made with veggies, chestnuts, chèvre and rosemary). We are also going to see a play at The Lyceum - Something Wicked This Way Comes. Then there is the possibility of a concert, as well as various short walks and, depending on the weather, a longer journey to visit The Hermitage. Craig is taking a jaunt over the Belgium and while he is away JP and I are taking in the Mary Poppins production at the Playhouse Theatre. Perhaps Craig and I will catch a movie or two. I am almost certain I can convince him to read to me again from the book of ghost stories by H.P. Lovecraft.

So there you have it - all my news. Well most of it. Some it is leftover in my brain, but I can't be bothered to chase the crumbs. They'll fall out another time and clog up your keyboards. Things may be a bit sporadic over the next few weeks but I have come to enjoy posting more often, even if it is just a photo, so I shall continue with just small posts if need be.