Sunday, 29 March 2009

What are you really supposed to be doing?

What drives you? I don’t mean a particular goal you have your eye on, like losing weight or making more money. I mean the things that your mind and body respond to instantly throughout your day. The thoughts that your mind is drawn to again and again. The things that make you who you are.

I describe myself as an intelligent woman with a great capacity for pleasure. I also say that pleasure has long been my main form of spiritual practice. My writing reflects my sensuality; it always has. I have always desired a way to boldly express this gift of mine, which causes me to giggle uncontrollably through a truly good meal, or to lose myself in nature. My ability to let go into my senses so completely, my intense sensitivity to touch, smells, body language - these are things that govern my life, and when I do not honour them, they plague me like ghosts who cannot rest.

Yet this “thing” I have been gifted also has its downsides. I have struggled to express myself without attracting “the wrong kind of attention” or being subtly reminded by society of the “wages of sin.”

Since my latest bout of depression and self doubt, I have been thinking. A lot. And reading. A lot. Yesterday, in the shower, an idea leapt into me and before I knew it I was a babbling, joyful wrinkled mess.

The idea(s) continue to grow and sloppily mutate in my mind, but in the meantime I just want to encourage everyone to explore the impulses that come naturally to you. If you could build a social network or a business or work of art, based purely on that raw beauty inside you - you know the one - what would it look like?

When you think of this, does it make you happy and excited?

If so, please do it. Please start. And tell me so I can support and follow you on your journey. Because every time I see someone following their own instincts and throwing all their passion behind a project, it makes me feel good.

Thanks for reading.


C.S. Perry said...

Well...I'd love to get into this and really set out to accomplish my goals. It seems that we have much in common. But I need to figure out exactly what the wages of my sins will be.
Right now...well, it's pretty bleak and I'm finding it hard to get into the mood for this kind of thing.
But I will bend some thought toward it and try to recall what it was I really wanted in the First Place.

Anonymous said...

yeah...hurm...maybe we are sharing this depression. the whole world, that is. "everything is wrong" - is our every impulse wrong? to consume our planet to our death, to wage war on our food supply.
being a parent has taken it's toll on my thinking time. (maybe that has something to do with general poor decision making).
i fight for my sanity. what do i have left for the "great beyond". (where i once spent a lot of time)
but i'll quit pouting & i will revisit my spark.

Purest Green said...

Golly; I really didn't mean to depress anyone! My intention really was to encourage. I don't think our impulses are wrong. I think we ignore our true impulses and replace them with habits that seem, at the time "easier."

Perhaps we just need to be gentler with ourselves - that can be the little something brighter we add to the world.

Maggie May said...

Oh gosh I don't know, but it's fun to think about...

Cheryl said...

The things driving me now are to experience life as much as possible (not hold self back due to fear, self doubt anymore), to connect with more people more fully and to create as much as possible (to get back to that novel I put away months ago).

Good luck with your project. The only support I need right now, I guess is to know others understand what I'm going through as an artist and human being.

JP said...

I'm supposed to be buying milk!!
Also, there's a very fine line between inspiration and depression.

Dale said...

Touch. But you already knew that :-)

Marcheline said...

Music, steampunk art, black and white movies from the 1940's, wine, antiques, and Scotland. Not necessarily in that order.

Am finding my joyful creativity hogtied lately due to financial stresses caused by my husband's layoff (three months ago) and the continuing lack of any jobs out there.

Unfortunately, one needs to spend money in order to indulge one's creative impulses - as all recipes need ingredients, so art needs supplies... alas, I am using credit cards to pay bills and so the pressure builds and builds.