Well my first mailout is coming up and as you can see by the wee listy thing over there ---> the numbers are slowly ticking down. But there are still plenty of postcards to go before I'm allowed to buy more. Eeek. (I have some touristy things planned in the near future. The thought of not being able to buy more cards gives me stress).
So please, help me.
Somehow I have ended up with postcards depicting Henry VIII and all of his wives (Could Anne of Cleves get any hotter?) I also have a postcard depicting the most depressing Christian-inspired scene of human suffering! Then there's a painting of a man with a pointy moustache! A giant ocean liner! A huge blue ball! Three surgeons who look like ghosts! A guy in a kilt pointing at another guy who wants to fight him - yeah! A painting of a woman who looks like she is going to pass out at any minute, and she's got a clay pot on her head. Oh, the drama!
From England we have the inside of Sir Leighton's House (flaunt that peacock on the staircase, baby!), postcards from London, Shakespeare country, Westminster Cathedral, and St. Paul's Cathedral (including the Library in the North Triforium - gasp!)
Scottish postcards include birds on a cliff (warning - lots of shit), the disappointing scene of the most northern village on the mainland, a stretchy look at Portree Harbour on the Isle of Skye, the Kelvingrove Museum in Glasgow (what's a plane doing inside a building? watch out, Mr. Giraffe!) and a stack of wee postcards showing scenes from around Edinburgh (St. Mary's Cathedral! The Scott Monument!)
One lonely, sad CD Rom postcard. Put it in your computer and see scenes of Scotland. With bad music! Give it to your gran - she can play it in her DVD player.
There are only two more cards of three fat ladies laughing, but four more cards of a little girl laughing while the little boy next to her looks to be breaking wind. The hilarity never ends!
From the West Coast of Canada we have a nice collection of Haida art, including angry whales, old black and white photos of ladies in cedar bark clothing looking very, very sad, and a raven vomiting diamonds.
Finally there are three more random envelopes (first one claimed by Ellen! Applause for her bravery). Three more chances for a rambling, hand written letter from a woman who has trouble staying on topic.
Thanks to those who have already said "yes please!" Be assured that your illegible cards will be on their way shortly. And for those who have read my plea and are now giddy at the thought of receiving a card or postcard from little 'ole me, please email me at email@example.com and let me know your mailing address and what kind of card you would like. If you've taken part in one of my other daft giveaways and I already have your address, just leave me a wee note in the comments.
Together, we can make my dream of being card-free come true. We all know I'm just going to buy more cards. But that's not the point! The point is they will be new cards. New, shiny cards....mmmmm...shiny....
Thank you for your attention. You may return to doing something more important. But first, here's my sales pitch face. Note the "you know you want to" eyebrow move.
ps- not my house I'm afraid. It's Hopetoun House.
Twilight Scrawls by Kirstin Maguire
3 hours ago